Men, loneliness and health: What’s the connection?
Supporting men’s health with mental health strategies
Have you ever felt lonely, maybe even when you're around other people?
Maybe you brushed off the feeling or waited for it to pass. What’s the big deal — everyone feels lonely sometimes, right?
Turns out, there’s a lot at stake.
Loneliness is associated with a 40% increased risk for dementia. Social isolation can increase the risk of premature death by 50%, according to the American Psychological Association.
Jesse Taylor, a Nurse Practitioner and One Medical provider, points out the findings of the 2023 report released by the former U.S. Surgeon General: “A lack of social connection was associated with higher mortality than smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, having 6 alcoholic drinks a day, and even a sedentary lifestyle,” Taylor summarizes.
People who experience persistent loneliness may also be more likely to:
- Develop heart disease, hypertension, and type 2 diabetes
- Experience anxiety, depression, and suicidality or thoughts of self-harm
- Show accelerated cognitive decline
In recent years, men — fathers, brothers, sons, husbands — are feeling lonely and isolated at increased rates. Why is this happening? And what can help?
What’s to blame for the male loneliness epidemic?
Why are men feeling lonely now more than ever? “As with most issues we face as humans, the causes of the male loneliness epidemic are multifactorial and complex,” Taylor shares. “Speaking anecdotally from my own life, I know that an unhealthy sense of what it means to ‘be a man’ is a significant contributor.”
Key contributing factors to male loneliness may include:
- Cultural pressure to stay “strong” or unemotional
- Portrayals of men and masculinity in the media
- Lower likelihood or social stigma around asking for help
- Fewer deep relationships
- Overreliance on digital or transactional connection
According to a 2021 study by the Survey Center on American Life, the number of men who don’t have a close friend has quintupled to 15% since 1990. Almost half of men in America say their online lives are more rewarding than their offline lives. Men may also be more likely to focus on their romantic relationships rather than developing deep friendships, according to a Pew study.
“Research has also shown that men are less likely to engage in more structural avenues of developing friendships,” Taylor says. “Men are less likely to engage with religious groups, more likely to marry later, and tend to be more willing to be mobile with their careers, leading to frequent moves that make it more difficult to build strong friendships.
As Taylor adds, there can be a lack of vulnerability in relationships between men, “even though I believe most men would actually appreciate it if they found out they could be vulnerable with even one or two close friends. Men need social interactions just as much as anyone else does, we've just been conditioned to believe that we don't.”
Signs that loneliness is taking a toll on health
It can be tempting to ignore or avoid feelings of loneliness or social isolation. But if you’re noticing those lonely feelings lingering, or you’re feeling socially isolated more often, your long-term health might be at risk, and it’s time to look for support.
Look out for signs in you or loved ones like:
- Fatigue or changes in sleep
- Escalating alcohol use
- Cancelling or avoiding social events
- Masking depression with overworking or withdrawal
Steps to take to build stronger connections in your life
Once you start to acknowledge feelings of loneliness, you can start to explore where they’re coming from. Is it a lack of close friendships? Not having a strong sense of community?
Taylor urges having open conversations with someone you trust. “Talk about it, destigmatize it, and be careful with the language we use surrounding vulnerability.”
Strategies that can help:
- Normalize therapy and mental health checkups via an accessible, nonjudgmental platform
- Build small, regular moments of connection into daily life
- Encourage emotional openness as a strength
Consider joining a group or activity that provides opportunities for connection, such as improvisational comedy or an art class.
Take a page out of the former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy’s book. Murthy shares two strategies he uses to cultivate connection: “I create sacred spaces in my life where I'm spending time with people and not with technology. The second thing I do is I now make it a point to actually pick up my phone when my friends call. Even if I just pick up the phone for 10 seconds and say — 'Hey, I can't talk now but can I call you later?' — just hearing their voice and hearing my voice makes us both feel so much better than taking that same time to send a text message."
As Taylor says, it can take a lot of courage to be the friend who speaks up and asks for vulnerability in a friend group. “I encourage patients who are struggling with this to identify one friend, if they can, who they think they could have a candid conversation with. It doesn't have to mean spilling all their deepest darkest parts of their heart, but even starting with something like ‘even within our friend group I've been feeling isolated. It's been rough mentally and I could use some help, someone to check in periodically and make sure I'm doing okay. Could you help me with that?’”
It takes courage to ask for help
Taylor’s advice comes from professional and personal experience. “I know and understand how small isolation can make people feel, and how scary it can feel to open up and tell others about it. But I also know firsthand the freedom and liberation that can come from finding community in people who truly know and understand you.”
Jesse reiterates that providers like him are here to help. As you navigate getting support, consider One Medical your partner. With behavioral health services, same or next-day appointments, and compassionate care available 24/7, we’ve got your back.
Need further mental health support around feelings of loneliness? We’re here to help. Connect with a One Medical provider in our app.
If you, an employee, or a loved one are struggling with mental health and/or having thoughts of suicide, there are resources available 24/7. You don’t have to be suicidal to call]
https://988lifeline.org/ - 24/7 national suicide hotline.
https://www.nami.org/ - has a helpline for families to support their loved ones, and a new guide for employers to support employees going through a mental health crisis.
Learn more about how One Medical can help your employees to stay healthy here.